Troubled Mind

Troubled it is called, when the mind starts and constantly unruly. Freedom from tyranny of troubled mind seems very far fetched for now. Though the logic mind once in a while tried to overpower, that it feels like series of courageous battle between Lucifer and angelic thoughts. Both are hungry for territories. The intensity correlates directly to the severity of the pain to suffer on. This intermitten pain is unbearable at most of the times.

How I wish I could literally disappear, 
slowly then forgotten. 

There are times I would rather dissapear, but sadly it's easy if I'm a cigarette that once burnt, smoked and I'll be gone forever, or a toothpaste once used I'll be out of sight of everyone, or perhaps the beautiful mists at the top of green lusty hills at dawn, that glimpse of sunrise shooed away it's existence slowly and forever, it won't be the same the next day and days to come because it will be different mists altogether. My God! this pain is excruciating. Trying to close my eyes for some sleep invites the battle to continue and intensify.

What else can I do?

At this hour, before this hour and the hours after this, I have my masks on, I had my masks on and I know i'm going to continue putting on my masks of being normal, untroubled mind.